How to Look your Best but still feel like yourself on your wedding day featuring guest writer Danielle Neiswender

Folks, let me introduce you to an amazing professional in the wedding industry and beyond, Danielle!  She is an experienced licensed esthetician, makeup artist and educator. Danielle and I work out of the same cute little downtown, Holly, Michigan. Danielle has a big heart for allowing folks to be their authentic selves. I was thrilled when Danielle was available to guest write for my blog so that all of you can share in her extensive knowledge. 

Let's dig in...

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How to Look your Best but still feel like yourself on your wedding day

Before I jump into what I want you to know about makeup for your wedding…I want to do something weird together right off the bat. 

I want you to put your left hand on your heart and your right hand on your belly. Which hand is moving with your breath? If its your left hand, I want you to consciously release your jaw. Let your shoulders relax. Unclench the parts of you that you can feel are all bunched up. Try to take your next big breath and feel it with your right hand. Did you feel the difference? 

If you’re reading this blog right now, you might be in the planning stages of your marriage story. Maybe you jumped right in after engagement and you’ve quickly realized how involved this ‘getting ready to say I do’ thing can be. 

I’ve been working as a makeup artist for brides for over a decade and I’ve noticed that many of them reach a stage, usually within six months of the Big Day, where everything feels like a lot. Whether you have a huge wedding or a small one. Whether you’re working with a planning team or DIYing most everything on your own. There is a point of Great Clenching. Where it feels like your body has become one large, overstimulated nerve. Where the stress of so many variables really starts to get at you. 

And, then you’re also expected to find your beauty team in this window of time. 

I’d like to invite you to experience something different. What if the next time you felt the beginnings of a Great Clench Moment…you tried to interrupt that with a nice, hand moving belly breath? What if your wedding is already exponentially more beautiful than you’ve even imagined? What if you looked at it as a glorious party, a beautiful time that is the first step in a glorious life, a beautiful partnership that you have been lucky enough to find? 

Could you feel the difference in the way those thoughts land? 

Okay, now for your beauty decisions. Those don’t have to be hard. First off, if you’ve struggled to find someone I want you to reach out to me. Even if I’m already booked, it seems like I know every artist in the state and with that huge network, I’m certain I can find you a good match. Reach out. Seriously. 

Now I want you to think about how you want to feel on the Big Day. Notice I said feel, not look. You will look beautiful. That I know for sure. Right now we are thinking, though, about the thing you will remember years and years from now. And, that is how you feel. Not how you look. 

Those things you want to feel? (Things like joyful, relaxed, excited, like your best you) Those are the things you want your beauty team showing you on their website, their social media accounts and their reviews. If they’re showing you that they too care about these things through what they’re already doing day to day? It means they get it. They’ve already considered your experience, or the experience of other people like you. You will likely be in good hands.

This is the point where it may be good to think about how you want to look. Page through your professional’s portfolio. Do you see looks that you would add to your vision board? 

If you’re someone who loves bold makeup- do you see that in this artist’s work? If you like it soft, clean and perfected- is that what you see in their imagery instead? We wouldn’t ask a veterinarian to handle your human illnesses. And we wouldn’t ask a natural makeup artist to do full glam. They may be able to do it, but it may not be their specialty. 

These artists are also real professionals running real businesses. You’ll hear back from them quickly after inquiring through their website. You’ll know what you’re getting into through the contract and onboarding process. Your questions will be answered happily. You should not experience weeks long wait time to get your initial emails answered or receive a price quote. 

Once you’ve got the information you need to make your best choice, it is smart to make it quickly. While I place a soft forty eight hour hold for my brides’ deliberation time, most artists do not. And, even with my soft hold, I have had brides that were faster to make a decision and sign a date than a bride that I’d spoken with first. 

If you’ve met with an artist, gotten information and don’t have a strong gut feeling that you want to sign them right away…well…that might be a sign that they aren’t the right artist for you. It’s okay to listen to your gut and look for another artist. It is still good (and polite) to let the first artist know that you’ve decided to go in a different direction. 

The last piece of the puzzle I’d like you to think about is your preview date. It is wise to view this day as a preview of your wedding look and not as a trial. Especially if you’ve gone through the work of vetting your artist as I recommended. 

If you insist on seeing the makeup look prior to signing a contract and committing to this artist, I would recommend searching for your artist and choosing your preview date at least twelve months out from your wedding. Because if you aren’t already certain they’re right for you and you don’t like your trial makeup, that twelve months of lead time will mean you can still find another artist. 

And, if you DO like your trial makeup but didn’t secure a contract ahead of the preview? Well, there is a distinct possibility that the artist will sign another client for your day at any point that you don’t have it secured. So, it’s a risk I wouldn’t take personally. 

At your preview, it can be helpful to provide the artist with looks that you’re leaning toward. Extra points if those looks are from their portfolio or social media pages! Remain open to the possibility that they may have recommendations that work better for your particular face or features. You hired a professional, so they know how to let your beauty shine its brightest. 

Throughout the preview appointment you should feel comfortable asking questions and requesting tweaks or changes. Don’t wait until the full face is on and complete to voice concerns or issues. Often by then it is too late to make meaningful changes. Do speak up and provide feedback in the moment if you need to- you hired a pro, so they should be secure enough in their skill to accept actionable feedback. 

All of these steps, even in the midst of Big Clench Moments of wedding planning, will mean that you can rest secure in your choice for beauty on the Big Day. Beauty is often the first team that you see that day and can set the tone for how you feel going into a big feelings sort of day. By vetting early, choosing an artist that you have a good connection with, and sharing your honest thoughts about how you look at your preview you should find that you feel and look your most beautiful on a day that is about so much more than how you look! 

Now, remember those belly breaths!

About Danielle: 
Danielle is an experienced licensed esthetician, makeup artist and educator from the heart of the Midwest. She joyfully serves bridal clients all over the Mitten and aesthetics clients at her studio space inside Boho Aeshetics in downtown Holly.

You can reach her at [email protected] should you wish to chat. Or at her website (dnartistry.com) or socials (IG: @dn_artistry) if you'd like to see her work! ​