Let's begin at the beginning, what the heck is a wedding Officiant? Well, this is the ringmaster of your wedding ceremony. The person who will stand with you and recite your wedding ceremony and then sign your marriage license to make your marriage legal. Wedding Officiants can have different titles. 

Titles: 
Wedding Officiant 
Wedding Minister
Celebrant
Specific religious affiliated title 
Hey you!-kidding, kind of 

What is the actual responsibility of your wedding day Officiant or Minister? How can they add worth to your wedding day planning and of course performing your wedding ceremony? 

As one of your professional wedding vendors who you spend the least amount of time with it's important to understand your wedding Minister's role on your wedding day and how your wedding Officiant can make your wedding ceremony absolutely amazing. 

It begins with hiring a professional wedding Minister or wedding Officiant. My reasons are this, you want to be able to hand off the duties of writing a personal and unique wedding ceremony, planning the processional, readings, music breaks and performing a rehearsal onsite or over the phone so that you are comfortable going into your wedding day, then of course effortlessly reciting the wedding ceremony in a way that evokes emotion, laughter and joy. And lastly signing the darn marriage license the right way so you are in fact legally married. 

It's the work your wedding officiant does behind the scenes that will allow you to relax into the moment of your wedding ceremony having utter confidence in the fact that they are the perfect person to be standing with you. That they did the hard work of writing and planning this moment for you and that your wedding officiant and minister want nothing more than for you to enjoy every bit of that 20 minute wedding ceremony that will lead you to the absolute best night of your life. 

The worth of your wedding Minister or Officiant is in the time and worry and stress you did not have when writing your ceremony or worrying about the performance of the ceremony or concerning yourself with who lines everyone up to walk down the aisle. Your wedding Officiant effortlessly takes these things off your plate. 

Hiring the right wedding Officiant or Minister for your wedding day is no simple task. There are many people to choose from nowadays. Next blog...how to choose the right wedding Officiant for your wedding day. 

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When writing a wedding ceremony I try to look at each couples love story and determine what reading or poem may fit best with their specific love story. And not every wedding ceremony needs a reading or poem, but when they do, I have a few I've saved over time. Let us visit a one of my favorites. 


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To Love is Not to Possess by James Kavanaugh  
I really like this poem because of this line "Love is to join and separate" 

To love is not to possess,
To own or imprison,
Nor to lose one’s self in another.
Love is to join and separate,
To walk alone and together,
To find a laughing freedom
That lonely isolation does not permit.
It is finally to be able
To be who we really are
No longer clinging in childish dependency
Nor docilely living separate lives in silence,
It is to be perfectly one’s self
And perfectly joined in permanent commitment
To another–and to one’s inner self.
Love only endures when it moves like waves,
Receding and returning gently or passionately,
Or moving lovingly like the tide
In the moon’s own predictable harmony,
Because finally, despite a child’s scars
Or an adult’s deepest wounds,
They are openly free to be
Who they really are–and always secretly were,
In the very core of their being
Where true and lasting love can alone abide.

Writing your own wedding vows can feel overwhelming, but honestly it does not have to be. Most importantly the two of you should have a conversation and decide the length and tone for your vows so that you can feel comfortable. It can be awkward if one person wrote a paragraph and the other wrote 5 pages!

When you think about writing your own wedding vows you can get lost in the idea of where to even begin, and I say, begin at the beginning. Think back to when you first met your partner and how you felt those first few dates. Write down those feelings and even some specific memory about one of your dates, could be funny or sentimental. Next move to why you chose this person to marry, to share your life with. Think about why you love your partner, why you admire them and write that down. Lastly share some wedding vows or promises with them. I always encourage couples to keep the vows personal, we know you promise to be honest, loving and faithful, but do you also promise to keep making the morning coffee? To continue to do the laundry on Sundays? Do you promise to hold the bags when you go shopping?

These vows are for the two of you, no one else needs to understand them, so keep them sacred to who you are. And of course, google! Google is a great place to get inspiration of vows. 

So let's lay out how to write your own wedding vows: 

1. Decide together on the length and tone of your wedding vows
2. Recall your first dates, how did they go, how did you feel about your partner
3. What do you love and admire about your partner, why did you choose them to share your life with? 
4. Make your vows and promises personal and true to who you are 
5. Don't be afraid to google wedding vows and get some inspiration

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Once you've written your vows I encourage couples to email them to me so I can proof read them only for similar length and tone, to help you know that you are going to rock your wedding vows on your wedding day. 

What if I told you small weddings are not only still a thing but they are a leading "thing"? That's right. Small weddings, intimate weddings, elopements, whatever title you wish to bestow on your small gathering of important people to support you on your wedding day...it is certainly still happening. 

Weddings in 2021 were all over the place, we had moments where we could not host the big weddings in the way we had originally planned and this lead couples to shift their wedding day plans, even their venue, guest list and destinations. While yes, many, many wedding couples held tight to their original plans and simply pushed the date forward waiting until restrictions lifted and they could go ahead as planned, some couples, they just didn't want to wait to begin their married lives. Whichever side of the wait not wait wedding world you ended up on, it's okay! I sincerely hope you loved every aspect of your wedding day. 

The number of weddings I have done so far in 2021 has more than doubled what I normally do. In a typical year I officiate around 100 weddings, weddings of all sizes and destinations. This year however, I have officiated over 250 weddings with the majority of those being small weddings right here in Holly. While I don't always know why couples have chosen do marry they way they do, I can tell you, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter why you chose to host a small wedding or to elope to an up north city and simply sign your marriage license to make it legal, let me repeat IT DOES NOT MATTER. What does matter is your joy, your sanity and your peace knowing you made the best wedding plans for you. 

I see the small wedding trend pushing forward and continuing to be a wonderful choice for many couples yet to come. There are so many reasons to choose small weddings. Less stress, less price, less time planning and more time living your married lives. 

I can tell you that I put the same amount of love and care into a small wedding or signing that I do into the larger weddings. Love will always be at the center of every wedding I officiate.