Today is my 20th wedding anniversary. Everyday I make the choice to choose love. I fall in love with my husband over and over in many different ways for different reasons. I choose to see the love he gifts to me over and over. I choose to understand his desires and goals and to help him the best I can. I choose to know he is not perfect and to accept the possibilities that imperfection give. I choose everyday to love him in all the ways I can, even if that's from a distance or quietly or loudly and strongly. 

Everyday we're faced with many choices, love, laughter, patience, kindness, fortitude...and on and on. I would never push my hopes onto someone else but I will say this, I do hope at the end of everyday you love yourself enough to know the love you give is a choice and you make the best choices for you. 

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It's what drew me to my husband 25 years ago, in high school lol - he's honest. Sometimes too honest, but he's learned over the years when to keep that honest bits to himself and which ones to share. I love it about him, his honesty, he can't fathom lying or cheating or being immoral, it's just not part of his makeup. I'm not saying he's perfect, no one is, but he is honest and that quality I love.

In marriage honesty is important, but the delivery of your honesty is maybe even more important. Sometimes you can't just come out and say it, you need to explain, to provide some comforting information and then hit um with the honest. 

Ke kind to each other but be honest too. 

I've been told often throughout my life that I don't have a lot of patience, so much so that I now repeat it. But...it's not really true. I have patience, I can tolerate a lot, but I have boundaries and expectations and sometimes those actions of others test my patience. 

My husband, most would say is a very patient man, he is, but, he is also quiet and reserved, thus the appearance of patience is greater than the actual patience. I know this because I've seen the lack in action. Hey, we've been together for 25 years, I know him and he knows me, very well at this point. 

In marriage, the patience you have and those that you see in others matters. But more so, recognizing the abilities of yourself and your partner matter's more. It doesn't matter the amount of patience you have, what matters is recognizing your abilities and those of your partner. Once you understand each other's thresholds and boundaries then you can begin to have more patience with each other. 

Marriage doesn't take patience, it takes understanding or at least a want to understand. And time, marriage takes time, each day you recognize new things within yourself and your partner and it's that ability to know new things will be discovered that allows you to have patience, to understand you will each change, and during those changes you need to nurture yourself and each other. 

Be kind to yourself and those around you, especially your partner, together you can do most things, with love and understanding you can do all things.