In Michigan it was -9 degrees when I took my son to school this morning. It's now a balmy 14 degrees and guess what...I'm still doing signings and elopements outdoors!

Why you might ask? 

1. Covid - ugh, still! 
2. Cost effective - like zero dollars to stand in a park 
3. Time efficient - with restaurants requiring reservations and backup's in waiting for a table, meeting outdoors for 10 minutes or less takes less time. 

Now, none of this is to say I won't go indoors, I've done plenty of elopements indoors at local venues and beyond. But I want you to know, I'm happy to stand outdoors with you still, in the cold and do you signing or elopement, bundle up! 

That's right people, if you choose to elope you don't have to do it in secrecy, you don't have to run away without your parents permission...do people still get "permission"?

Anyway, eloping today simply put means to marry quickly with a few guests. 

So, if you choose to elope, you can gather your closest friends and or family, pick a date a few days or weeks out and get hitched! 

You can email me and we'll set it up at a local restaurant or given the current covid conditions probably outdoors. Eitherway, you're in love and you should be able to elope! 

I just want to get married...NOW! Or, I'm done trying to plan all this, let's just elope! 

Sound familiar? There are many reasons why couples choose to elope and elope no longer means going to some destination secretly. In today's world elope simply means to get married quickly and hold a small event. 

That's where I come in. I specialize in small, intimate and stress free weddings. I'm talking not large venue, no large guest list and all the happiness and joy you can take. 

First up is to apply for and obtain your marriage license. In Michigan your marriage license is valid for 33 days as of your date of application. 

Once you've got your marriage license you get married, the only requirements are that two people/witnesses over 18 be present and that you declare your intention to marry each other with a simple "I do". What else you would like to include is up to you. 

You can invite a few close family or friends to attend, you can choose a gorgeous outdoor park...that's also free! Or, reserve a room at the local community center or even your favorite restaurant will usually have a side room or banquet room for use. See my suggested locationhere. 

Now that we've got the marriage license and the location picked out, email me and we can set a date! Remember you don't have to get married on the weekend, let's do lunch on a Tuesday or dinner on Thursday, time to think outside the box. 

What do I wear? You can wear anything you like! wear that wedding dress, or wear your jeans and t shirts, there is no judgement here - you do what suites you best. Just remember we're keeping it stress free! 

Oh and by all means, hire a photographer, document your wedding day! you will want those beautiful pictures to look back on. 

At your wedding, I will meet you on location, perform the short and sweet ceremony allowing you to exchange rings and vows if you like and then we will sign your marriage license to make it legal. 

​So, stop waiting, stop stressing and just elope! 

If you have never been married or attended a wedding ceremony, heck even if you have you may not know how this whole wedding reading thing goes. Let me give a bit of insight as to how to select a reading for your wedding ceremony and who should read it. 

First let's begin at the beginning, what is a wedding ceremony reading? 

When drafting a wedding ceremony script I often reflect on what the couple has told me about their relationship and if there is a reading that fits nicely into this theme. If so, I will add a reading. Sometimes couples want to keep the ceremony short and we don't add a reading. Wedding ceremony readings are optional. 

You can google "wedding ceremony reading" and get so many results that the options seem endless, so how do you pick the right one for you? Well it's simple, start reading them and when you get stuck on one because it resonates with you for reasons unexplainable, or you thing its beautiful and reflects your own thoughts on your relationship then you've found it! As with everything else wedding ceremony related I believe your ceremony reading should reflect your version of love and your version of marriage. I have my favorites but some of my very most favorites have been shown to me by the couple themselves.

Who does the wedding reading? This is a great moment to invite that special person in your life to be a part of your wedding ceremony, to recite a reading you have selected during the ceremony. However, make sure this person is agreeable to the task, present it as an option, public speaking is not everyone's forte or comfort zone, so be sensitive to their own abilities and comforts when asking. Your Officiant or Minister will often times take the role and read any selected readings also. 

Wedding ceremony readings can come from anyplace, the Bible, poems, movies, books or music - but just don't ask me to sing...it won't' sound pretty.

So, here are some of my favorites - 

The Art of Power 
"The Buddha spoke about four elements that constitute true love: the capacity to be kind and offer happiness, maitri in Sanskrit, compassion, the capacity to relieve suffering, karuna; the capacity to bring joy every day, mudita; and finally, the capacity of nondiscrimination, upeksha. When there is true love, there is nondiscrimination. The pain of the other is our own pain; the happiness of the other is our own happiness...To make our love meaningful, we need to nourish our bodhicitta, our mind of boundless love and compassion...First, we learn to love one person with all our understanding and insight; then we expand that love to embrace another person, and another, until our love is truly boundless."

—Thich Nhat Hanh 

This Marriage 
"May these vows and this marriage be blessed.
May it be sweet milk,
this marriage, like wine and halvah.

May this marriage offer fruit and shade, like the date palm.
May this marriage be full of laughter,
our every day a paradise.
May this marriage be a sign of compassion,
a seal of happiness here and hereafter.

May this marriage have a fair face and a good name,
an omen as welcome
as the moon in a clear blue sky.
I am out of words to describe
how spirit mingles in this marriage."

—Rumi

From The Irrational Season – Madeleine L’Engle
But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take. It is indeed a fearful gamble. Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together we become a new creature.
To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take. If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession, but participation. It takes a lifetime to learn another person. When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling, and which implies such risk that it is often rejected.

You've been planning your wedding for a year, heck even longer in most cases and now that the big day is finally arriving, you've learned you must shift gears for your wedding day. 

It is important to ponder what is most important to you in this moment, and know that there is no wrong answer. Perhaps most important to you is getting married this year or maybe the most important part is celebrating that marriage with all of your family and friends. 

So let's take scenario 1 - Most importantly you want to get married this year

If this is you, then shift your mindset to the excitement of getting married in and of itself. Focus on what your ceremony will look like, the words you will carefully choose to hear while standing facing each other. Focus on what is allowed and work within those guidelines. Do you want to stand in a field of wildflowers, do you want to take a city approach? The options are plentiful when your working with a much fewer guest count. You can still have the pretty flowers, music - maybe an autistic guitar will help to set the more intimate mood and even cake and Champagne! Celebrate your love. You can choose to broadcast your small wedding via zoom or Facebook live so that all the people can see you celebrate with you. 

Scenario 2 - Most importantly you want to celebrate with all of your friends and family

If this is you, then...take a deep breath, move your date to mid to late next year. If you choose a date later in this year or early next year you may have to reschedule...again, and let's face it that is simply causing more stress. So, I suggest you just push that date and then refocus on making that new date magical! Embrace the love that will surround you that day and all the hugs you will be able to have and give. 

I know it's difficult right now, trying to decide what to do, I hope this straightforward post helps you think through the fog. 

I had this idea last year of #elopenotbroke. You see, I'm big on not going into debt for well, anything. And anything includes your wedding. Don't get me wrong I love a big wedding with all the fanfare and you can totally have that if you desire, but save and spend wisely and don't go into debt. Moreover, you can have a lovely small intimate wedding for much less an investment. 

There are so many great ways to host your wedding nowadays and so many labels for it, intimate wedding, micro wedding, elopement, small wedding, tiny wedding, you get the idea. 

The idea is that you can keep your guest count small - think 20 or less and still have amazing venue, food, music and flowers and not go broke or completely stress out over the idea of planning this big large wedding. 

I love the idea of small weddings so much that I've pivoted the focus of my business to just that...small weddings. 

My ceremonies can still include all the personal and lovely details you like. We can create a wedding ceremony that is filled with laughter, love and shines a light on your love story, or we can keep it simple and more streamlined. 

Whatever your desire for your wedding ceremony, I can meet it!